Your Favorite Nursery Rhymes

All Around The Mulberry Bush

All around the mulberry bush

I decided to chase a weasel

This monkey thought 'twas all in fun

When he tore off the head of the weasel

A penny for a mule's head

A penny for a weasel's

That's the way the economy is

Goddamn regular gas is so high right now

Might as well be using diesel

Up and down the Shitty Road I go

I'm pumping in and out of the weasel

Couldn't find a ho to give me a blow

Now Pop! goes the weasel

Higglety Pigglety

Higglety, pigglety, my friend Gwen

This bitch spreads her slop hole for all the goddamn men

Gentlemen come every day

To see how many my friend Gwen doth lay

Sometimes nine, and sometimes ten

Higglety, pigglety, my friend Gwen

Whore!

Come To The Window

Come to the window

My baby, with me

And look at the stars

That shine on the sea!

Break out the bong

We'll sing a song

I'll bend you over

And ram in my schlong

I see two little fish

Far down in the deep

I see lots of things now

This is

good creep weed

Cry "Neap, neap, neap

"

Have no fucking reason why

Latch your hands onto that window sill

As I cream your sweet cherry pie

Diddle Diddle Dumpling

Diddle, diddle, dumpling

My retarded son, John

Went to bed

With his trousers on

So I went into his room

Dent his head in with a broom

Diddle, diddle dumpling

John's now in a tomb

Fee Fie Foe Fum

Fee Fie Foe Fuck

I smell the odor of an English schmuck

Be he 'live, or be he dead,

I'll grind his cojones and run him over with my truck

I Love Little Pussy

I love a little pussy

Especially when it's wet

And if I don't hurt her

She won't be a threat

So I'll not pull on her clit

Nor make her take any abusive shit

And that little pussy of hers

Very gently, I will hit

Georgie Porgie

Georgie Porgie, puddin' and pie

Kissed the boys and made the peter puffers cry

When the boys came out of the closet

All happy and gay

Georgie Porgie attacked them from behind

Put a bag over their heads

And had all of them filleted

With his goddamn butcher knife

Damn sick fuck, that Georgie

John Jingle Jingleheimer Shits

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt

His name is my name, too!

Whenever we go out

The people always shout

"You fuckers have the same name, goddamnit!"

Jack Be Nimble

Jack,

be nimble

Jack, be quick

Jack tried jumping naked over a huge bonfire

And burnt his goddamn prick

Then Jack jumped high

Then Jack jumped low

Then Jack fell into the fire

Received third degree burns

Losing all of his toes

And his prick

What a dumbass!

On Top of Spaghetti

On

top of my woody

I have a disease

I lost my poor meatballs

Due to aids and herpes

That fucking slut Gwen

She's the Queen of all Sleaze

Because of her rancid coochie

I now pee through a tube

I wish I could stab her

It might make me feel good

Hokey Pokey

You put your right foot in

You put your right leg out

You hook your right fist in

And you punch him in the face

You do the Hokey-Pokey

And you slit his goddamn throat

That's what it's all about!

You put your left foot in

You put your left foot out

You put your left foot in

And you turn yourself around,

Quickly firing off your bazooka

Decimating all of your enemies

Because

That's what it's all about!