Onthophagus Taurus and Dryer Vents

The beetle, Onthophagus Taurus, is an insect that is able to pull 1, 141 times it's own body weight. It is the equivalent of a 150 lb person lifting six double-decker buses. Now that, my friends, is strong.

If I could do that, without pulling groin hernia #3 on myself, I could do some wondrous things. For instance, I could pull myself up from behind the dryer when I get stuck. Every time I clean the air vent behind my dryer I get stuck with no way out, except this narrow three inch gap between the dryer and counter top which rises up past my nipples... almost. Rarely, do I try to squeeze through the three inch gap. I've almost lost my "stick and balls" that way. So there I am, usually, cursing and wishing I had waited on cleaning the dryer vent until the wife gets home. At least she helps to pull me out every so often or feeds me time to time so I won't collapse in a crumpled heap behind the dryer, sucking on dryer lint for nourishment. She's sweet that way.

By the way, you are correct in assuming that the picture above, is one of two Onthophagus Taurus beetles gettin' it on, doin' the wild thing or boning. Looks like a pretty horny situation, if you ask me.

Back to this spectacular, resilient bug: The females bury most of their fecal matter (like cow droppings) instead of carrying them. Sounds practical. The females build tunnels through the shit to lay their eggs in. Sounds disgusting. It's through these tunnels that mating and pre-mating fights between the males takes place. Fighting and fucking in shit sounds like joyous fun for all. Not.

The male beetles, that are hornless, have to rely on strategic trickery when it comes to fighting in the tunnels. Instead of waiting at the entrance of the tunnels, as the horned beetles do, the hornless ones hide out in self-built side tunnels and sneak in to mate before getting caught by a horned beetle.

Horned males, however, combat head-to-head. Their horns kind of meet on their shoulders. They push each other backward and forward, with the male that is being pushed hardest, bracing, as it is being pushed.

Imagine getting into a fight with one of these creatures if it was six feet in length or more. I wonder what kind of fighting that would entail. I do know one thing... I wouldn't follow them back into their shitty homes. And keeping a few as prisoners or slaves wouldn't work for me. I couldn't handle the stench. No, I think I would just leave them be. Maybe give them some kind of hygiene kit from Bath and Body Works for Christmas every other year or something.

Where was I going with this? Hell, I don't know. I've got a dryer vent to clean, damn it. Later.