Cocky Barn Swallows

If you should ever see a barn swallow looking like he's having the blues, do what the U.S. researchers did in New Jersey. That is, dye the barn swallow's breast feathers a darker shade of red. After dying 63 barn swallows a more intense red, the researchers tested them and found that their testosterone levels rose to an astonishingly high level.


"The experimental manipulation didn't just improve their looks in the eyes of the female barn swallows, it actually changed their body chemistry," said one of the researchers.


"A male barn swallow can't look in a mirror and assess his social status," the researcher added. "But if he flies into a group of other swallows, the birds will quickly assess it for him and give him a sense of where he fits in."


The female is looking at newly painted dude bird in the group and thinking, Yummy. Your nest or mine? Hubba hubba.


Male barn swallows given darker breast colours bred earlier in the season and fathered more young. They also lost weight. That could be due to fighting with other male barn swallows and continuously doing the wild thing with all the horny female birds. That takes a lot out of a bird, ya know?


The researchers concluded there is strong evidence that color is an important factor of male quality. Comparable signals are seen among deer with big antlers or birds with flashy tail feathers. They suggested the same thing goes on with humans males. One researcher suggested that when a guy puts on a new suit, he feels like a million bucks. I guess his testerone level, supposedly, takes a jump up like a red painted, cocky barn swallow.


And that's when the ladies come-a-runnin'. I guess.


Funny. I don't get that from a suit. I just feel real sweaty in my armpit and nether regions. In fact, wearing a suit makes me feel stiff- but not in a good way.


I'm glad I shared that with you.