So Would Ya Like Ta Read Some Of My Damned Poems?

Here's a couple of poems I wrote for my underground magazine, Psycho Carnival, in 1998. Enjoy!

CONSUME

You must do
You must obey
Their lies are "truth"
You must consume

Learn the pop trends
and perform them well
Go watch the flick
that was meant to sell

Eager souls can't hide
their pain
Toward pro athletes
Give worshipful acclaim

You must do
You must obey
You cannot choose
You must consume

Spend money on garbage
directed at your demographic
Send a kid to war
For Their greed and Their trick
Swallow your self esteem
and allow censorship to spread
Hide your eyes
and join the dead

Gosh, that was a real hoot. A real pick-me-up, aye?

Here's the other. A much more serious bit of inspiration.

FLUSH

I stand over
to watch the water clear

It is time to unload my inner essence

I sit
I push
I grunt
I fart

Something squishes
and comes forth from within me

plop
plop
plop
plop

Sense of relief
Serenity it brings

Enrichment of the moment
Fulfillment of empty spirit

I stand once more
Look to see my product
Then turn
And wipe away the residue
of my past consumptions

Then flush
and watch all of it swirl away

Heartwarming, is it not?

Cocky Barn Swallows

If you should ever see a barn swallow looking like he's having the blues, do what the U.S. researchers did in New Jersey. That is, dye the barn swallow's breast feathers a darker shade of red. After dying 63 barn swallows a more intense red, the researchers tested them and found that their testosterone levels rose to an astonishingly high level.


"The experimental manipulation didn't just improve their looks in the eyes of the female barn swallows, it actually changed their body chemistry," said one of the researchers.


"A male barn swallow can't look in a mirror and assess his social status," the researcher added. "But if he flies into a group of other swallows, the birds will quickly assess it for him and give him a sense of where he fits in."


The female is looking at newly painted dude bird in the group and thinking, Yummy. Your nest or mine? Hubba hubba.


Male barn swallows given darker breast colours bred earlier in the season and fathered more young. They also lost weight. That could be due to fighting with other male barn swallows and continuously doing the wild thing with all the horny female birds. That takes a lot out of a bird, ya know?


The researchers concluded there is strong evidence that color is an important factor of male quality. Comparable signals are seen among deer with big antlers or birds with flashy tail feathers. They suggested the same thing goes on with humans males. One researcher suggested that when a guy puts on a new suit, he feels like a million bucks. I guess his testerone level, supposedly, takes a jump up like a red painted, cocky barn swallow.


And that's when the ladies come-a-runnin'. I guess.


Funny. I don't get that from a suit. I just feel real sweaty in my armpit and nether regions. In fact, wearing a suit makes me feel stiff- but not in a good way.


I'm glad I shared that with you.

McClellan's Book and Speaking The Truth

There has been much commotion about Scott McClellan's book, "What Happened." In case you have been living in a cave the past few days and haven't heard about it, I'll give ya the same description Amazon.com gives it:

Scott McClellan was one of a few Bush loyalists from Texas who became part of his inner circle of trusted advisers, and remained so during one of the most challenging and contentious periods of recent history. Drawn to Bush by his commitment to compassionate conservatism and strong bipartisan leadership, McClellan served the president for more than seven years, and witnessed day-to-day exactly how the presidency veered off course.

In this refreshingly clear-eyed book, written with no agenda other than to record his experiences and insights for the benefit of history, McClellan provides unique perspective on what happened and why it happened the way it did, including the Iraq war, Hurricane Katrina, Washington's bitter partisanship, and two hotly contested presidential campaigns. He gives readers a candid look into who George W. Bush is and what he believes, and into the personalities, strengths, and liabilities of his top aides. Finally, McClellan looks to the future, exploring the lessons this presidency offers the American people as we prepare to elect a new leader.

George W. and the rest of his Republican cronies think of McClellan as a turncoat and/or coward. They come out, of course, to say he is the one who is lying.

I've read excerpts of his book and it seems like it would be a good read, although the deal about the search for weapons of mass destruction was something I knew was a outright lie long before most of the other hairless monkeys in this country figured it out.

These are a few quotes or observations from Scott McClellan's book:

-Bush favored propaganda over honesty in selling the war, leading us down the primrose path.

-Cheney steered war policy behind the scenes, leaving no fingerprints.

-Bush and his team repeatedly shaded the truth, manipulated public opinion, and sold the Iraq situation in such a way that the use of force appeared to be the only feasible option.

-Contradictory evidence was ignored or discarded, caveats or qualifications to arguments were downplayed or dropped, and a dubious al-Qaida connection to Iraq was played up.

-The Bush administration didn't check their political maneuverings in at the door after the win - instead, they maintained a permanent campaign mode, run largely by Rove.

I was watching the Today Show yesterday and Meridith Viera was interviewing McClellan about the book. You could tell he was nervous. Maybe he thought his life was in danger. Maybe it is. I don't know. Anyway, she was pressing him hard about the book and he was giving answers that seemed kinda vague to me. I'm not sure if he was doing this because he was nervous and couldn't think straight or that he was intentionally doing it so people would buy his book instead of him telling the nation, word-for-word, everything the book contained.

Viera told him, directly, that he was a coward for not blowing the whistle on the Bush Administration while he was working for Bush. I feel that he refrained from announcing the administration's lies and deceptions because he didn't want to lose his job. That was harsh, I thought. True, however. But, at least, he did come out with the truth.

I, on the other hand, would have told what I knew to the media, the media that is not controlled by the government (if there is any) and resigned afterwards. I couldn't work for an organization that tells lies that involve the theft or killing of people. But then I've always been a whistle blower. I've angered quite a few upper management types in my day by pointing out what was wrong in many situations. Some co-workers would say, "Aren't you afraid of being fired?" And I would always say, "I'm more concerned with telling it like it is than being burdened with living with something that is wrong."

For me, wrong is wrong. It doesn't become right just because you have kids to feed or you're afraid your supervisor is going to give you a verbal warning or worse. By the way, the "kids to feed" and "bills to pay" excuses are a cop out. Employers have controlled their employees with those sentiments for generations.

And before you freak out on me for not knowing how it is because I do not have children, consider this:

You are not setting a good and moral example for your children, mate or whoever by knowingly upholding what you know to be wrong. And you are upholding just that- when you do nothing about it. When you allow " the wrong" to go on and on with even a word. When you do this, especially for the almighty dollar, I have absolutely no respect for you.