There was a time when I was taking pictures of everything except a rat nibbling a piece of cheese off the tip of my penis. Then I fell out of love with snapping shots of this, that and the other. Long story, there.
Oh, and I had the rat assassinated, too. Poor fuckin' Ratty. That was his name- Ratty. Pretty original, eh? I strapped him to a lamp post and let my cat eat his little kicking legs until he went Weee-Weee-Weee -all the way to a cruel, dismembering death.
In the last couple of years, I've gone back to my love for photography and taken a whole crapload of pics. As a matter of fact, I created a spankin' new blog, featuring original photos taken by me, called Pics For Kicks. You won't find anything too wild on this site so don't go expecting that before you click the link. And I know some of you freaks are expecting clown porn or a 7 foot tall, cross-eyed sociopath holding a golden goblet full of eyeballs but I would have to tell you to quell your thirst for insanity at some other site.
Take the one you're on right now, for instance.
Here's a sneak preview of my first post on Pics For Kicks.
As you may be able to tell, unless you're on crack, shrooms or you're an absolute imbecile, this is not an image of a guy wearing a thousand and one dildos. For that, you'll have to check out one of my previous, recent posts.
I asked some of you out there in the BlogoSphere and in RealityWorld to give me some ideas for a suitable title for my blog and although Snapshots Of Drooling Retards and Does This Look Creamy To You? were both just dandy as the bee's knees (how bees have knees-I'll never know) I thought about all the ideas everyone contributed and decided that my friend, Steve, had the best one.
Because he is the incredibly fortunate winner of my unofficial lil' poll, I am happy to award him with the grand prize- One free dinner at the Droopy Nipple Cafe. Congratulate him folks! He's a lucky man. Twice lucky, in fact. The other reason being because he has such a good friend in me.
That's him below, trying to hide from me. He quickly finds out there is no escape.
When you go to the new blog, Pics For Kicks and check it out (and I know you will because I have a gun to your head) you'll notice it is almost barren with the exception of the first post of pics. This is because I am lazy. Either that or I've been busy. Either that or I'm surfing for inspiring, wholesome websites that gives one hope and fills you up with overwhelming love.
Ha ha ha ha hah ahhahhahahahaaaaaaaaaa. Eh, yeah.
Anyway.... Here's that link again-
And tell 'em Kelly sent ya. They'll know what to do. ;)
You did a brilliant job of managing our expectations so we don't get disappointed. Later, somewhere along the line, you'll post a huge butt shot and we'll be purring like your Pussy after it swallowed Ratty. You're actually a pretty shrewd guy - I'm learning not to judge a book by its cover.
ReplyDeleteWell well well what have we got here Mr. Fancy Pants a brand new blog, and it still has the new car smell. I'll be checking that out for sure
ReplyDeleteKelly, you're so multidimensional! A man with a sense for beauty and the absurd....Shh....only your blog knows! Fun to see you at the Snee and now off to the photo display! Enjoy your week and hope you take a lot of shots(but remember to wear your orange hunting jacket). It's a good way to shoot at stuff, but not get shot at.
ReplyDeleteHi Kelly, I tried to post the below comment on your new fantastic photo exhibit blog, but for some reason, the site wouldn't let me make a comment...Hmmm...a blog block perhaps? Here it is below.
ReplyDelete"It's fun to see your calm serene self. BTW, I noticed over at Klahanie's that you eat Cincinnati Chili. I grew up there and have eaten a ton of chili with chocolate. Do you grab a three way on the go before or after your photo sessions. Beautiful fall colors Kelly."
Hi Kelly,
ReplyDeleteThis is great news! I'm heading over to your new blog and check out all your pretty pics. I, somehow, after five tries, managed to link in on your new site as a 'follower' aka 'adoring fan'. Gee thanks, blogger.com!
I must go now, just in case someone here has been eating some of that thar chili. Holds nose and leaves...
WTF?
ReplyDeleteGorilla Bananas- Lol. That won't be the way that lil' blog will work, Mr. Bananas. No butt shots, no crack shots and no ten penny nail through the pee hole shots.
ReplyDeleteNot even if you beg.
No, siree. This new site will be dignified and shit, I tell ya.
Yes, I'm trying to keep it as family friendly as I can until I crack under my own pressure.
The Wolf- Mr. Fancy Pants and Mr. Checkers once had duel with each other using chickens. The chickens would be forced to pop out eggs towards the other opponent.
ReplyDeleteNah, I'm just "eggin" you on. Ha ho ha.
Yeah, but anyway... I've got a ton of pics to put on there from my camera that I think everyone will enjoy. It will be all original stuff.
THE SNEE- As far as I can tell... and I checked into it... I don't have a comment block on the new site, of any kind. Others have been able to comment, too.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the 'multidimensional' compliment and the rest. You're very kind. As I've said in the past and I'm sure you'll agree... Everyone has different facets to their personality. Why shouldn't that be reflected in one's own blog (creation)? Surely we all don't want to show just one side of ourselves in something we do as a hobby almost every day.
That would get boring.
Yeah, I'm getting calmer as the days go by since moving my dad out of his house about three weeks ago. That was a friggin' nightmare and I'm starting to get into a good groove now, so to speak.
I love the Cincinnati chili. Yes I do. You can't throw a dead midget around here without hitting a Skyline Chili restaurant. Take care, SNEE. Want me to send you some of that chili? :)
klahanie- Gary, yes... I'm finally getting around to responding to comments. Everybody wants a piece of me these days... But in a good, positive way. So I'm not complaining.
ReplyDeleteThanks for checking out the new site, man. Glad you finally accomplished the magnificent feat of being able to be seen as a follower and follow the blog. Blogger, I see, is giving you fits. Lately, I haven't had trouble with it but I wonder how long that will last. :) Maybe a day.
Would you like me to send ya some of our chocolaty chili. It will make you fart. Plus, you can have it as a 3 way, 4 way or 5 way.
Are you having perverted thoughts again? Take care, Gary.
Sir Tom Eagerly- I know. Right?
ReplyDeletePerverted thoughts! Me? Sweet innocent me? Although I kind of like the idea of immersing myself in a huge tub of chocolate chili and...
ReplyDeleteYes, I know, do I ever sleep?
klahanie- Yes, it's hard (and I don't mean THAT KIND of hard) to imagine your sweet and innocent self of having vulgar images of naked gnomes and fairies dancing about in your head. The chocolate chili is on it's way to ya. Never fear. But instead of using lean ground beef, I put in fresh, homemade poop. If that's okay?
ReplyDeleteThe answer to your last question is:
Probably as much as me. Take care, dude.
I admit that I have a cupboard full of canned Skyline and Goldstar chili that my family gifts to me just in case I get a craving....admittedly, its slight tin can taste really doesn't add as much as one might hope to the experience, but now I know I have another chili source....a great sense of relief is over me!
ReplyDelete