Plans For New Year's Eve Party (but not at my place)

I'm not sure which plan I'm going to go with. Maybe you can help me decide.

Plan A

Personally, I think a party featuring midgets fucking tiny poodles while everyone enjoys a delightful concoction of doobage, drink and magic mushrooms has all the makings for a rip-dandy fiesta. I'd watch that for a dollar. Then I would further the evening's merriment by dousing them all with gasoline, setting them all on fire and shooting each guest in the nuts or hoo hoo as they try to flee the premises. It's important to impress your guests with charm and grace, after all.

Plan B

I'd give even 2 whole dollars to watch a room full of retards (or ultra conservatives- either group being interchangeable) have their drinks laced with something that would cause them to lunge upon each other, gouge out each other's eyes with corkscrews while singing ""Auld Lang Syne". Of course, I will perform the videotaping and set them all on fire before I leave the premises. What a way to bring in the new year!

But what to do... what to do.