Sunday, February 28, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
It's amusing to see someone dressed as the Statue of Liberty, on the side of the road, waving at the passing cars. The ones responsible for this silliness is a company called Liberty Tax Service. I'm not sure if you have seen any of these people, dressed in the turquoise gowns with a crown of matching color before, but it's a little freaky to witness. I know. It's a job. Somebody has to do it.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
This is my sister's cat. His name is Tiger -but I don't think the poor bastard feels very tiger-ish these days. Hurts just looking at him. When I first saw the photo, I winced while feeling vomit and coffee burbling up my throat.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
more at http://www.andycordan.com
Monday, February 8, 2010
Sunday, February 7, 2010
I came across this story today about an event that happened last Sunday, in Michigan. I just wish that I could have seen this act of human stupidity in person. I would have laughed.
Looking for a power boost to his sled riding experience, a 62 year old sledder got it when the homemade rocket strapped to his back exploded, burning him over nearly 20 percent of his body. Oakland County Undersheriff Mike McCabe said the man, whose identity hasn't been released, was hospitalized in stable condition Monday.
Quick! Somebody break out the marshmallows and I'll go grab a couple sticks! The fire is still burning pretty good!
The crazy ol' man was hosting a Sunday night sledding party when he filled an automobile muffler with gasoline and gunpowder, strapped it to his back and had it lit, seeking what McCabe called "a rocket-launch effect."
Instead, I believe, he got the "Holy-shit-my-goddamn-back-is-half-gone-and-I'm-on-fire-effect."
The device blew up as the man headed downhill, causing second-degree burns to his face and right side of his body and possible eye damage.
This story kinda reminds me of when Chevy Chase oiled up the bottom of his metal sled in the movie, "Christmas Vacation." One of my faves. Zooom! Pow! Only this guy was more of an imbecile because he basically strapped a freaking bomb to his back. HA HA HA.
No charges have been filed against the man, whom McCabe said is known for doing "outrageous things" at his sledding parties.No shit. I bet he'd be fun for entertaining at kid's parties... or adult parties, for that matter -as long as he's far, far away from the house, car and the rest of the property. If he damages or sets himself on fire, that's cool, though. Maybe next time he could wrestle a polar bear, while naked.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Since yesterday, our area has been hit with ice, rain, freezing rain, sounds of thunder and five to seven inches of snow. I know there are areas in this country, especially Washington DC and most of the North Eastern US have got it a lot worse. According to the news, Washington DC is going to get bombarded with two and a half feet of snow. The most snow they've seen in years. I pity them and everyone else on the East coast.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Another batch of pics and fine examples of the ways people try to get our attention. It might look like art now (in my opinion, it depends on the tat) but decades from now, it will have lost most of it's original color and/or look shitty due to wrinkles, blotchy skin and so forth.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Monday, February 1, 2010
How embarrassing! But for only a second, however, and then I didn't care because I knew I was most likely grossing every other customer standing beside me and behind me. So... It was worth it, I suppose. I tend to disgust or irritate at least one person every day. I would put something like that on my tombstone "Here Lies Kelly. He could piss anybody off without even trying." But I'm too cheap for all of that lettering, not to mention the plot expenses and so on, so I'm going to have myself cremated. Instructions will then include having my ashes sprinkled over some asshole's ice cream sundae. Or something like that.
My mother-in-law wants a really expensive casket and extravagant funeral. She already has it all planned out. Why? She's gonna be dead. Why do people do that? Simple answer: Vanity.
Er, where was I? Ah, yeah, my nose bleed.
My nose gets a kick out of bleeding like that -especially when it's really dry and cold outside or if I pick a particularly hard booger that's done a super job of gluing itself to my nose booger wall.
Say, "Thank you for sharing!"
These days, since my month long 95% recovery from Major Depression -which I've been diagnosed with for the last five years, my priorities in life have greatly changed.
For one, I don't care as much how I look when I go out in public. That's not to say I go out around town with my tube steak and blueberries hanging out of my pants. You can get ticketed and arrested for that shit. Or... in my case, possibly laughed at.*
*Due to my left testicle being the size of a small Granny Apple and the other one being just peachy -And by that, I mean normal. What's with all this food talk in this post?
No, I try to, at the very least, brush my teeth, comb my hair (even the pubes) and wear normal clothing when I go out. No more Sex Instructor: First Lessons Free type shirts are worn or even owned. I was the first, in my high school, to wear that shirt, by the way. Such pride! Now, if I were to go out with that shirt on, I would be thought of as some old pervert (which, of course, I am) but anyway....
I just believe it's all trivial and vain to go out in normal everyday places, wearing a popular name suit and a twenty to thirty dollar haircut.... or for the ladies (and some men, I suppose) -five pounds of makeup slathered on or plastic surgery work done on their faces. Even if it's for the workplace, don't demean yourself. As much as you have been likely brainwashed by this society, you really are not a product to be sold.
Number two: I don't give a rat's ass about how cute you think your kids are. I don't want to see their pictures. And if they're screaming at a table near me at a restaurant, expect a dirty look or much, much more from me if you don't remove them promptly or discipline them. They're irritating me and everyone else. It's rude. I'm trying to eat, digest my food properly and perhaps cut a small, yet quaint fart. People just don't have the cojones (or something like that) to give the parent(s) what I affectionately call "The Mean Bastard Glare".
Get those screamin' monkeys out of here!
Number three: Keeping up with the latest electronic gadgetry. That's an endless, futile and very expensive goal. You can keep your high powered computers, iPhone and other devices of diversion and stick 'em way up your toot hole. I'm just as happy reading a paperback book.
And lastly: Arguing continuously with certain people. If I've made my point and you've made yours and we still don't agree, then let's cool off for awhile and step away. More than likely, it won't be the end of the world. And later, after some thought, somebody might just see the other's point of view and go with it.